My fish is a terrorist, what do I do?
My fish is a terrorist, what do I do?
In the fish-tank that sits by the window
in my quiet suburban neighborhood
lives a terrorist fish!
He's white skinned and a little larger than his orange mates
but it may not be his size or skin that's intimidating
judging from outside the fishbowl it might be his attitude!
Whatever it is that causes him to dominate the conversation in his fishy neighborhood,
as the administrator of the colony their conflict is my problem!
How do I restore the rights of the orange fish?
Is there a way to empower the underdogfish?
Can I appeal to his gentle side? ...does he have a gentle side?
Why can't they all just get along like on day-One,
when they all swam around in picture-perfect fashion
with no-one cowering inside the plastic volcano and under the fake tree?
Back then he wasn't swimming around in circles like a shark wannabe!
So I think through my choices....
I poke fingers at him threateningly as he swims by
can I pretend to stab him thru the glass and scare him into remediation?
Is my constant 'fingerboarding', for lack of a better term, like torture?
Is it going to play on his mind, make him turn inward and cause him to reevaluate his life?
or will it make him swim faster, duck, dive and disappear?
I dont know much about fish psychology but I'm guessing
fingerboarding is only going to get me one mentally sick or dead fish!
What if I should expel him?
remove him from the colony and send him back where he came from (Petco).
his neighborhood would be calmed
and the little fishes could live again
but our home would lose its newest and most edgy reality show
he would no longer be amongst us
flashing his wicked white profile as he glides by
we'd miss him
after all, bad attitude or not he's a part of this colony.
I suspect he has ownership rights by now
its his home, isn't it, I argue.
But if I do banish him for a while until the others grow bigger
does he have a right of return?
how long can he be gone from home before he's not welcome back?
would we, could we, decide in his absence that he cant come back...and render him homeless? tankless?
I must keep him in the tank...I surmise. Expulsion is not the solution!
A new option seizes my imagination...
Can I just separate him from the rest of the inmates?
How about a screen or a barrier around his living space?
to cordon him off even as continues to live his fishy life and swims in the same tank as the others,
he'll be restricted to his enclave!
All his activities are now inside a walled precinct and he cant socialize with or threaten the others!
I suspect this will make him mad but I cant read the mind of a fish!
Will this seclusion serve to fix the problem?
or will he having learnt nothing
and be the same big-bad attitude on small fins when the barrier is removed?
I'm not liking this option either,
with a barrier installed each fish-faction would have a smaller space to swim in,
their quality of life downgraded,
and the fishtank which is a thing of beauty
is going to look messy with a divider running thru it!
This idea is a non-starter.
Finally I come to this
why don't I just fish him out the water
and toss him in the backyard?
Yes!!!
why don't I kill him and end the dilemma?
It's easy, doesn't cost any money or effort and heck no-one would know or care!
In the fish world they don't have id's
they don't get counted
So my killing would go undetected...
Wait, suddenly my conscience is awake, text messaging me
says it disagrees with me, not allowing it...
there it goes again taking the high road
informing me that at some level he's a fellow animal
and maybe just for a bit I have power over him,
(scares me to consider what he'd do if he had power over me)
but
Since I didn't bring him into being,
I'm not so sure I have the right to take him out
even if its convenient!
So its time to consider the unthinkable
something that's never been done
something even the UN cant implement....
A two-tank option!
But 'thats expensive' my left brain warns my right
and 'its going to look beautiful' the right fires back!
How about it?..
Two fish-tanks side by side so both sets of fishes
can have their rights and their independence
...how does that old prayer go...
'No fish exploiting the weak
No fish hating the strong
Each fish working out its own destiny
Unfettered self-respecting, fearless.'
Dr. Suess may have said
"Oh! The thinks you can think!"
"...One fish, two fish
white fish, orange fish!!!"
In the fish-tank that sits by the window
in my quiet suburban neighborhood
lives a terrorist fish!
He's white skinned and a little larger than his orange mates
but it may not be his size or skin that's intimidating
judging from outside the fishbowl it might be his attitude!
Whatever it is that causes him to dominate the conversation in his fishy neighborhood,
as the administrator of the colony their conflict is my problem!
How do I restore the rights of the orange fish?
Is there a way to empower the underdogfish?
Can I appeal to his gentle side? ...does he have a gentle side?
Why can't they all just get along like on day-One,
when they all swam around in picture-perfect fashion
with no-one cowering inside the plastic volcano and under the fake tree?
Back then he wasn't swimming around in circles like a shark wannabe!
So I think through my choices....
I poke fingers at him threateningly as he swims by
can I pretend to stab him thru the glass and scare him into remediation?
Is my constant 'fingerboarding', for lack of a better term, like torture?
Is it going to play on his mind, make him turn inward and cause him to reevaluate his life?
or will it make him swim faster, duck, dive and disappear?
I dont know much about fish psychology but I'm guessing
fingerboarding is only going to get me one mentally sick or dead fish!
What if I should expel him?
remove him from the colony and send him back where he came from (Petco).
his neighborhood would be calmed
and the little fishes could live again
but our home would lose its newest and most edgy reality show
he would no longer be amongst us
flashing his wicked white profile as he glides by
we'd miss him
after all, bad attitude or not he's a part of this colony.
I suspect he has ownership rights by now
its his home, isn't it, I argue.
But if I do banish him for a while until the others grow bigger
does he have a right of return?
how long can he be gone from home before he's not welcome back?
would we, could we, decide in his absence that he cant come back...and render him homeless? tankless?
I must keep him in the tank...I surmise. Expulsion is not the solution!
A new option seizes my imagination...
Can I just separate him from the rest of the inmates?
How about a screen or a barrier around his living space?
to cordon him off even as continues to live his fishy life and swims in the same tank as the others,
he'll be restricted to his enclave!
All his activities are now inside a walled precinct and he cant socialize with or threaten the others!
I suspect this will make him mad but I cant read the mind of a fish!
Will this seclusion serve to fix the problem?
or will he having learnt nothing
and be the same big-bad attitude on small fins when the barrier is removed?
I'm not liking this option either,
with a barrier installed each fish-faction would have a smaller space to swim in,
their quality of life downgraded,
and the fishtank which is a thing of beauty
is going to look messy with a divider running thru it!
This idea is a non-starter.
Finally I come to this
why don't I just fish him out the water
and toss him in the backyard?
Yes!!!
why don't I kill him and end the dilemma?
It's easy, doesn't cost any money or effort and heck no-one would know or care!
In the fish world they don't have id's
they don't get counted
So my killing would go undetected...
Wait, suddenly my conscience is awake, text messaging me
says it disagrees with me, not allowing it...
there it goes again taking the high road
informing me that at some level he's a fellow animal
and maybe just for a bit I have power over him,
(scares me to consider what he'd do if he had power over me)
but
Since I didn't bring him into being,
I'm not so sure I have the right to take him out
even if its convenient!
So its time to consider the unthinkable
something that's never been done
something even the UN cant implement....
A two-tank option!
But 'thats expensive' my left brain warns my right
and 'its going to look beautiful' the right fires back!
How about it?..
Two fish-tanks side by side so both sets of fishes
can have their rights and their independence
...how does that old prayer go...
'No fish exploiting the weak
No fish hating the strong
Each fish working out its own destiny
Unfettered self-respecting, fearless.'
Dr. Suess may have said
"Oh! The thinks you can think!"
"...One fish, two fish
white fish, orange fish!!!"
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