What will you write about
You?
I love airports and planes, probably because I don’t travel
much. I catch myself doing things I don’t normally don’t do like reading the
obituaries in a local paper today.
I read about Miriam from Long Island who died at the
Columbia Presbyterian in New York City. I wondered if she was rich and sought out
the best medical care or was so acutely ill that it was necessary to be at
Columbia. Rod, the next passage read, passed away at a hospice. How long was he there, did he suffer through
a prolonged illness, what toll did it take on his family or did they care? Joan,
left us directly from her home as many of us pray we are able to do when the
time comes. Margret last ‘was’ in her hospital bed and Leon’s family omitted
telling us those details about his last stop.
What
else are they telling us about their now ‘passed’ family members? Their loved ones?
Tolerated ones? Fun Ones? Pain-in-the-ass ones? For simplicity I’ll call them
all loved ones!
Marie
her passage reads, was a attorney, a girl scout troop leader, a gardener and a
cook. Additionally, we are told she spent quality time with her children and
grandchildren. Did she like being an
attorney? Did she prefer to stay home? Did she have a choice? Would she have
written of herself: ‘A successful
attorney with kids’ or ‘A Devoted mom who juggled her career’? It seems like a
few rearranged words and sentiments but to her it would have been important – a
short commentary, a blurb on her ambitions, values, choices and ultimately her
‘self’.
John
served in WWII and with the 82nd airborne division and invaded
Normandy on D-Day! The stuff of legend, an American hero, a cultural hero…but
did he see himself this way? Would he consider his twenty years of work with
the homeless of far greater worth and value? Maybe a truer reflection of
himself that the soldier we celebrate? If he had the chance would he write
about his awesome aim and trigger finger or would he rewrite his past and
assuage his conscience from the violence he wrecked?
How much are these words on page 18 a telling of their lives
and times, of their love or lack thereof and how much of it is what the
loved-one would want said about themself. How much is fact and how much is a
graceful yet posthumous mending of fences?
In other words, what part of their stories that I’m reading is their true
legacy and what part is what they really wanted their legacy to be?
As I
pass 50 and enter firmly (or infirmly) into middle age I am more reflective and
philosophical. So my friends, the next time you are alone in a car here’s some
homework. Ponder these questions for yourself:
What will my obituary say if I wrote it today? What would it say if
‘they’ wrote it after me? Would the two match? What would differ? What of my
life would I consider important, that they wouldn’t? What would they find
deficient…and perhaps with a little grace leave out of my narrative.
Joan, I continue reading, led a Bible study group and worked
for Catholic Charities. Margret was a communicant of Nativity of Our Lord
Byzantine Church and Gertrude attended St. Virgin Mary’s Church. Every obituary
on this page mentions church affiliations and volunteer work. This is
interesting. These folks are crossing that bridge between this world and the
next. By consensus it seems like faith in God and service to humanity have
gained a certain significance on this page. It like showing off the chips that
you haven’t cashed in but you hope to!
So my friends, answer this if
you care…
What chips do you have?
Are they enough?
“Enough for what?”, you ask?
I dunno – enough for the rest
of your “lives”?
So maybe its time to consider
your legacy and your trajectory. To measure yourself before you will be
measured. …To see if what you think of yourself is what the world will think of
you…
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